What It’s Like to Date the Son of a Boy Mom, According to Women...
What It’s Like to Date the Son of a Boy Mom, According to Women Who Have Been There, Suffered Through That

What It’s Like to Date the Son of a Boy Mom, According to Women Who Have Been There, Suffered Through That

It’s no secret that I have a lot of, shall we say, (read: phobias, hangups, irrational fears) about . One of the biggest—I mean, maybe not, but it’s up there—is my abject terror of inadvertently settling down with the son of a “Boy Mom.” If you don’t know what a Boy Mom is, then good for you—stop reading this right now. It’s too late for me, save yourselves! JK, of course you know what a Boy Mom is, because it’s almost impossible to go through life as a human being with internet access in this, the year 2023, and not have stumbled upon one of these -esque embodiments of maternal devotion gone…weird. (For reference, currently has 24 billion views on TikTok.) These Boy Moms, as they have dubbed themselves on social media, take an inordinate degree of pride in being mothers to sons that appears—surprise surprise—to be largely rooted in a whole bunch of internalized misogyny. Hallmarks of Boy Mom-ism include being ( ?) obsessed with their sons, seemingly ignoring their female children or at least heavily prioritizing their male ones, , and, of course, feeling and/or actively hostile toward their son’s romantic partners—mostly to the tune of “no woman will ever be good enough for my special boy.” They’re basically the modern version of your stereotypical Overly Critical Mother-in-Law. Think ’s Bunny MacDougal, but with a TikTok following. So where do Boy Moms come from? Not to get all, “Surprise! It’s the patriarchy!” on you , but…surprise, it’s the patriarchy. “The ‘special’ relationship that fathers feel with their daughters or that mothers feel with their sons is nothing new,” says licensed sex and relationships therapist, . “Thanks to social media, though, ‘Boy Mom‘ culture has become totally sensationalized.” Jamea suspects the trend is a reflection of mothers -ing their chance to “balance the years of misogyny around concepts like fathers ‘giving away’ their daughters on their wedding day or meeting the new boyfriend at the door with a shotgun in hand.” Which, okay, fair! “The problem, though—perhaps quite obviously—is that it’s only reinforcing the patriarchy.” Not only is this bad news for, you know, society, but it also has a way of breeding some pretty not-great behaviors and relationship patterns for Boy Mom-spawn. Shockingly enough, this tends to be, uh, rather disadvantageous for their romantic partners—particularly if they happen to be women. According to licensed marriage and family therapist , YouTube creator and author of , this kind of “toxic upbringing” can be “very detrimental to the men involved,” leading to dependence on others (read: the women in their lives) to make decisions for them, and/or an inability to forge healthy romantic relationships. Per Morton, Boy Mom-ism may, in some cases, have its roots in narcissism. “Narcissistic mothers tend to see their children as extensions of themselves instead of as independent people,” she explains. “Therefore they believe that their sons are just as good as them, and no one will ever be good enough.” This often translates to (ultimately misogynistic!) jealousy of and/or animosity toward the partners with whom adult sons of these Boy Moms eventually enter relationships Because I’m both terrified and curious, I wanted to hear from some partners of Boy Mom sons themselves about what it’s really like to date Mommy’s Special Boy. Here’s what they had to say. Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers all things sex, love, dating, and relationships • She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up • Follow her on and .

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